Day 11-15

I know I'm way behind.  I'll do my best to remember the important things and be more focused- it's just been a crazy week!
Monday, day 11:
I didn't do a whole lot today other than look for jobs online.  I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I eat a lot of the same things and have difficulty varying it up but its also nice to not have to guess right now.  I babysat again in the evening and that went well.  The older boy was more active so I was more hungry when I put him to bed.  He was so cute.  I was really nervous for when he goes to bed because I didn't want him to start to cry - he could have woke up his brother and then we would have had a problem.  He sat in my lap for a few minutes because he got fussy.  Then we headed upstairs - he got a little upset but we prayed before bed and he clasped his hands so tightly and his eyes were closed, put him in bed and he went to sleep- so cute!  I had brought a snack since I had eaten dinner.  I also got a call for a potential job with Youth Villages in Douglasville.  I have an interview tomorrow at 4pm, crossing fingers!

Tuesday, day 12:
Today was a busy day.  I med with my psychiatrist at 10am this morning to discuss my 'treatment'.  I told her about going off of the benzo and the reaction and she said that its normal and to continue to ween myself off as I get comfortable.  She doesn't want to change my meds and I don't have to see her until March!  She said I looked good, seemed more focused and was happy with my improvement. Great news!  Anyway, I had oats and fruit for breakfast.  For lunch, my mom and I went to whole foods for the lunch buffet.  It was really cold and rainy so they had a bunch of casserole options.  It was sooooo hard to pass by the squash casserole, pasta dishes, lasagna for my red quinoa (which tasted like it had soy sauce on it (not allowed to have) but I didn't have a lot, and fried chicken tenders.  They didn't have any baked chicken so I didn't have much.  I also had some strawberries.  Then I had therapy. We discussed the potential job, and the negative things that happened in my last job that lead me to becoming so sick.  I am apprehensive about leaving her if I get this job and move.  I really like her and hate changing therapists.  So, we drove to Douglasville for the job interview which lasted about an hour.  I felt like it went well and she asked me for a second interview Wednesday at 1:45.  I know there are other people going out for the position so I am trying to not get too excited about it.  For dinner, we went to Texas Steakhouse.  I had a side salad, large delicious steak with shrimp combo (awesome) apple sauce and I did have half of a roll- it smelled so good because it was fresh- I lost to temptation but it was so good.  It was a long drive home and I felt like I had to use the restroom so I pulled into a publix.  It felt like I had a UTI.  I was like, great.  This is not what I need right now- how did I get this- what am I doing wrong... etc.  I thought about it when I got home and remembered that I wasn't taking any fiber supplement.  I took some citricel hoping that maybe something is pushing up against my bladder.  We will see tomorrow.

Wednesday day 13:
I had a hearty breakfast, grabbed my brazilian nuts and a few rice cakes, some green tea, water and headed back to Douglasville.  The second interview went well.  2 hours later after meeting people, observing a consultation group (which I loved) and saw the girls, I left and headed for dinner with my sister in Smyrna.  I had a salad, 1 lb burger with cheese and a little bit of chili, half a tomato and a little pickle.  My sister was impressed at how much I ate and the fact that I eat like this all the time and not gaining but loosing weight.  I am not happy about how much weight I'm loosing.  As I drove home, I was thankful at how much progress I've made over the past 6 months.  When I first moved here I could barely leave the house.  I was broken in every way and couldn't see much of a future.  Now I am excited for tomorrow- even if I don't get the job.  I made it to bible study and it was good- I did have a bite of cake and it was so good but I felt a little guilty- I had a roll and a bit of cake...  Hopefully it doesn't mess me up too much.  Regarding the job, I feel at peace with whatever happens from here.

Thursday day 14:
It's my birthday! I had a big breakfast, lunch at red robin which was a big salad and ensenada chicken- two chicken breasts, avocado, and a few bites of an apple crisp.  (had syrup- not good)  So full!  We went home, watched karate kid (new one) I had an apple with almond butter for dinner.  All and all a good day.

Friday day 15:
I decided to sleep in, and when I woke up, the job had called.  I GOT THE JOB!!! I ate breakfast and got ready for the day, and ran out to get fingerprinted.  If it goes in, I start on the 7th.  For lunch we celebrated at Logans.  I had a steak and asparagus.  I did NOT have bread and did not get desert.  We ran a few errands, looked up hotels and apartments, and I taught a guitar lesson which my student is amazing (not just saying that).  For dinner we ate quinoa, kale with garlic and roast beef (not my fav meat but good).  I need to get regulated on taking citricel.  I'm about to eat an apple and butter in a bit with some chamomile tea.  Tomorrow going to scope out some neighborhoods!!  I am very excited and feeling pretty good.  Happy birthday to me!!! Hopefully I'll see my sister tomorrow.

Until tomorrow (I promise)...